I was digging around some of my old post and found one of my poems. It’s honestly one of my favorite poems that I have ever wrote. I have been writing since I was 12. I haven’t wrote anything new here lately for a few reasons .. one just don’t have the time and two, nothing to write about.. so here ya go I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Oh man in the moon
are you so wise?
MBG 11-27-99

If I had to describe my life in one word I guess it would probably be insane. Of course I could think of a million other words to describe my life but insane fits it today.

I have been thinking about homeschooling the girls next year. That is until Shorty stayed home from school yesterday.  Now I feel like the shittiest mother on the planet for wishing today would hurry up and get here. Don’t get me wrong, I love that little girl to death. However, she’s a very high demanding little turd muffin. 

Having an 11 (almost 12) year old  and a 13 year old puts a damper on play time around here with their sister. They will play if forced or threatened or bribed to do so.  Therefore we have a 6 year old who is constantly complaining that no one will play with her. This same child will repeat herself 9 million times of “will someone play with me” until someone does. It doesn’t matter if you are on the shitter, she will come and stand at the door asking.

Then when you do play with her, no matter how long you are doing something with her, it’s never enough and heaven forbid us old timers have to sit down and catch a breath. The world will come to a screeching halt if you attempt to regain somewhat normal oxygen levels so your head stops spinning.    

Don’t get me wrong, someone plays a game with her every day.  Last night I played the Pirates of the Caribbean game with her. Don’t tell her I cheated at the end though. Hey CSI was coming on, I had to do what any other CSI fan would have done and besides I only switched the cards I was supposed to get. 

So last night I was rethinking this whole homeschool thing. I mean I could do it if I had to do it, but I’m not sure if I wanna do it. Over the last two years I have become accustomed to my time during the day. And as selfish as it may seem, I’m not ready to give that up. Call me a shitty mother, call me selfish.. I don’t care because I am. 

You know what I love about Fridays? Well besides I get to sleep in later the next two days, I love it because our local radio station plays Freebie Friday. It’s mostly of music from the 80’s and 90’s. When the alarm goes off, I just lay there listening to the music. It seems as though each song brings me back to a particular place and time. A time when big hair and acne treatments were needed. Where I adorned my walls with various stars in hopes that one day I would marry one of them. A song can take me back to the homecoming and dancing with a certain boy. Or it can take me back to skipping gym class and sitting in the Vice Principals office.

It’s so funny that we attach a song to a memory. Even now when I hear something from my youth, I feel like I am transformed back into a teenager lusting after the New Kids On The Block.. oh that reminds me, they are on the Today show this morning. As I have gotten older though, the songs don’t mean the same. There’s no meaning behind each ballad and the hottest high school couples. There’s no “our” song of the week or month. I will always have those days in the back of my mind and secretly wishing to go back to them.

Today is the Indian Festival held here in the county. I am not going. It’s the same thing every year and we went 7 years in a row. I need a break from all the dancing and high priced hot dogs this year. Jelly Bean is going all by herself. I gave her my last 15 dollars and told her to find her something cheap to eat (if that’s possible) and to find her a little something. She told me last night she wanted to find a dream catcher or some kind of Indian religious jewelry. I told her it was up to her to do whatever she wanted.

The funny think about my kids lineage is, their Indian bloodline stops with them unless they marry someone with Indian in them. They are still recognized in the state as Indians and are enrolled in the local Indian Tribe. However in school, the older two have elected to drop out of their Indian classes. They say they do the same thing each year and they really aren’t learning anything about their tribe. Makes sense really. Shorty is in her first year and loved it. Too bad they don’t have any Irish classes, my girls could learn a lot.

Here’s GiGi. I’m not crazy about her name, but that’s what her previous owners called her and that’s the only thing she will answer to. She’s a little round ball. Hubby and I weighed her today and she weighs 15.5 pounds. Yes you read that right. I’m not certain if that’s normal for her or not, but I’m pretty darn sure she could stand to shed a few around the mid section. We are going to try to help her lose a little weight. If you were to stick her in some bodystockings, she would look like a sausage link ready to pop.