What is elongated?

Today hubby went for his ultrasound. I tried to go in with him, but it was just too much for me. I waited in the truck. Thankfully I am lucky enough to have a husband that is understanding. Anyways, the ultrasound technician told him that nothing really stood out to him. She did find something, but said that it was elongated instead of round like cancer is. Not sure what to think of that just yet. The results should be in tomorrow or Thursday. For now, we just wait.

You know the thingg about waiting, it seems like it drags on forever. It’s about as bad as waiting on an Outer banks foreclosures. Even though the wait isn’t but just a day or two, it still seems like forever.

One good thing did come out of the day, I actually walked into Kroger and stayed in there. We went in to get the stuff for supper tonight and I actually stayed in there and didn’t run out. That has a lot to do with the fact that I had to take two of my anxiety meds (one before the hospital trip and one afterwards). By that time, I was calm, cool and collected. Regardless, it still was a huge thing for me. I haven’t been able to walk in there for about 6 months. So yay me!! Well that’s all of the days events. We came home and everyone took a nap. That’s what happens with us when it’s cool and rainy.




Acrobatic Stunt

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This would be me this morning. I am feeling old and decrepit. The morning stiffness is insane. Oh to only be able to touch my toes. Oh who am I kidding, the only way I can touch my toes on a good day is if I bend at the knees. According to the Dr, there’s nothing wrong with me. I hate to argue with a professional, but I can pretty much disagree with that diagnosis.

She did say that a MRI might show more than the standard X-ray. Heck, I just shelled out $500 for X-rays and blood work. Now I am going to have to join a franchise affiliate program or take out a massive loan just to find out what is wrong with me.

I have been walking hoping that I can strengthen up my muscles. I have been taking it easy and taking my meds every day like the Dr ordered. But I still can’t get out of bed without performing some type of acrobatic stunt. Actually it’s more like a pig rolling around in the mud.. not a pretty sight. Oh to have the body of a 21 year old again. Ha ha ha ha.. even I find that funny.




I’m so scared

In just a few short days, it will be the anniversary of my step fathers passing. Even though he’s been gone almost 8 years, it still isn’t any easier. Male Breast Cancer. Something at the time I had never heard of. I done a lot of research and always hoped for a better outcome. I never knew that my fears would come back to haunt me 8 years later with my own husband.

Last month he found a lump in his right breast. After a lot of crying, he went to the Dr who has set up an appointment to have an ultrasound done. It’s funny one hospital wants to charge us $140 to have the test done and another wants dang near $300 to have the same test done. It’s like shopping for office furniture only this is so much more serious. First off, we do not have the money to have the test done. A disability check doesn’t go far. I have no idea how I can get the money for this.

And to make matters worse, he called me into the bedroom a few minutes ago. He asked me if his right breast looked swelled. I told him it does. It looks about a 1/3 or so bigger than the left. I immediately started to cry. I do not want to go through this again. I am scared to death of the outcome. Yes I know that thinking the worse is a bit prematurely, that’s just how I think.

I do not know what I would do without him in my life. He’s my best friend. The test is scheduled for tomorrow, but I guess we will have to cancel or reschedule since we don’t have the funds. I wished I had it so I could know either way what we are facing. I am so scared. I think that’s why I have been withdrawing from people lately. I have so much on my mind.




Weather in the South

Oh what a beautiful day it is outside. We just returned from our daily mile walk. Isn’t it funny that in the south you can go from this:

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To this all within a weeks time:
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I mean it can be in the 30’s one day and in the 70’s the next. Gotta love weather in the south. It’s never boring that’s for sure.

Yesterday was nice, but today is even better. The only thing about all this nice weather is, my body wants to act up and cause me all sorts of problems. I need to check into some term life insurance rates at the rate I’m going. Don’t get me wrong, I can still do things, I just pay for it dearly in the end. Oh well no pain, no gain I guess.

Now I need to decide if I want to take a nap or go sit outside with the girls. That’s a hard one. LOL. What would you do?




Tracking Homeschooling

Homeschooling has been one of the best decisions I have ever made. Not only am I happy with it, my girls are happy with it. At first I questioned my decision, then after hearing of all the local school shootings, I’m thankful that we decided to homeschool. Plus I can tell that my girls are actually learning something. It’s amazing to watch them flourish from knowledge that they received here at home.

The only problem I have had is staying organized. I have papers strewn all over the place. I’m not a very organized person. Never have been. I do want to be a more organized homeschool parent. In my quest for this, I purchased Homeschool Tracker Plus. I have to say, it’s one of the best purchases I have ever made.

I love that I can go in each weekend and make each of the girls a schedule for the week of their assignments. I can also make chore charts, chart field trips, keep up with their grades more proficiently. It’s made a world of difference in homeschooling. I have loaded it in every computer in the house, I can sit right here at my own computer and load up their assignments and such. From there, they can take the flash drive (or you can network computers) to their computer and load up their que and see what they have to do for the week. I absolutley love it!!

I still have papers all over the house, but my grades and such are in a much more professional manner now. I highly suggest Homeschool Tracker Plus to any homeschool parent. There’s a free version, but it’s well worth paying for the upgrade.




Graveyards and Parks

Yesterday was gorgeous. The weather was beautiful. We decided to get out of the house for a while (after my cry fest) to go for a walk. We went up to the local park and walked the paved road that goes around the ball fields. It was a nice family time. However I paid dearly for it later.

Today we are going to the cemetary to do some grooming to my Grandmother and Great-Grandmother’s gaves. It pains me that no one else in the family cares enough to go and clean up. The two most influential women in our family has been forgotten by everyone in my family. It’s a shame.

Then after that, we are taking Shorty to the park. We promised her yesterday but after the walk, I could barely stand up straight, so we postponed it until today. Fun filled afternoon instore for us. I’m so happy that the weather is finally cooperating.




Withdrawing from the world… again

Oh what a beautiful day. I am so enjoying this pre-spring weather we are having here. It’s about time. I can not stress enough how much I dislike winter. I hate.. no I loathe the coldness. I much prefer the warmth and humidity any day.

Lately, I have been wanting to withdraw myself from the world. This happens from time to time. I get in these moods where I do not want to talk to anyone. I do not want to be around anyone. I just want to be left to fend for myself in my own little world. I think I need to talk to the Dr about upping my dosage of depression meds. I don’t think the dose is high enough. On the anxiety front, I seem to be doing a little better. I can force myself into large areas, but I have to limit my time or else I go into a frenzy. I am still uncertain as to what set it off, but it’s not wanting to leave any time soon. My Dr wants me to see a therapist, but I can not afford the $100 plus bucks an hour to see one. The ones around here that does it based on your income isn’t taking any more patients so I’m up shit creek on that front.

Well I guess that’s about it. I need to take my meds before I forget again. Somewhere deep inside I want to take a nap, but I have a feeling my family will not allow me that pleasure today.




Driving Miss Sassy

Today I let my daughter drive me to the store. For the most part I have avoided any and all driving training and left it up to hubby to do the job. I thought we had agreed years ago that this would be his forte. But alas, I gave in and allowed her to drive me.

For the most part she’s doing well. She is still nervous, but that is to be expected. She even had the audacity to tell me to get out after telling her to slow down in a curve. I reckon though that all teenagers think they know how to drive once they get behind the wheel.

While we were gone hubby and Wild Child made a bet on who would be driving once we returned. I guess they thought I would get scared enough to make her pull over. Yes I will admit, there was a few times I wanted to tell her to pull over, but I didn’t. I let her continue on. Will I let her drive me again? Well I’m not so sure about that. I will have to be medicated first. Then again, I kinda like having someone drive Miss Sassy around.




Let’s Move On

I’m beginning to really dislike Mother Nature. Well not so much her as the weathermen who try to predict what she has in store for us. Last night, all of our local weather folk said we would have a few flurries here and there. Nothing major and nothing sticking to this side of the state. I guess Mother Nature was PMSing this morning and dumped about 2 1/2 inches of the fluffy stuff on us. It was big huge white flakes falling. Even though I really despise the snow, I do however think it’s beautiful to watch as it falls.

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Even though I hate the snow, I took Shorty outside to play in it. We decided to build a snowman. We had a ball just spending time together even though I was freezing my arse off. It’s the little moments like today that she will cherish for a lifetime. Let’s just move on please.

Now I’m ready for spring. I want the warmth. I want to feel the sun. I want to smell the fresh clean start to the season as everything wakes up from it’s long winter nap. I want to see green grass and let the blades of grass tickle my toes. I want Old Man Winter to go bother someone else and let me be.




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