I think we have exposed our kids to way too much “survival” television. Sure all the techniques they use may come in handy one day. For some reason, the girl’s have decided to “practice” for if and when they are ever in a survival situation.
You see, we are avid fans of Man,Woman, Wild on the Discovery Channel. Not only is it educational, it’s quite entertaining to watch a husband and wife survive in the wild.
The girls decided they wanted to try to see if they could catch a rabbit. Of course, they cheated by using the live trap we borrowed for the stray, wild cats. So they set it. They used lettuce for bait. Day one, nothing. Day two: Reba…
Yep, they caught a raccoon. From the looks of things, Reba (yes I named her) made a bed inside the live trap and managed to trap herself in there. Now before anyone has a hissy fit, Reba will not be harmed in any way. As a matter of fact, she’s going to the forest to get her away from the road. And she was not intended to be caught.
This is the first raccoon I have ever seen up close. The vast majority I have seen have met their demise on the road. I have to say, raccoons are absolutely beautiful animals. However, they are very aggressive. But of course, they are wild. Wild they may be, but they sure are beautiful.
It’s that time of year around here. It’s football time. It is the one thing that we as a family agree on. Born and raised in Alabama, we are without a doubt Alabama fans all the way. As a matter of fact, we taught Shorty from a very early age that Auburn was a bad word (as in a cuss word). Up until last year, she would not say it. LOL.
Every Saturday, we gather around the Tv and root, holler and cheer for our team. It’s a tradition in our family. I hope that when the girls’ get older and get married that we can continue the Saturday tradition.
So if you need me, just leave me a message. I’m currently sitting in front of the TV watching some football with the family.
I’m about this close —– to throwing in the towel here. I don’t know how much more I can take. Between the arguments about money, arguments about the girls and just not understanding ME, I can’t take it any more. I’m tired of worrying about it. I’m tired of fighting about it. I’m just tired of it.
If I had my anxiety disorder under control, I would seek a healthcare job of some kind. I honestly wouldn’t care if it was cleaning bed pans. Anything to make a living and to provide for my girls.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my hubby. I just don’t feel as though he will ever understand my problem. He thinks the solution is to medicate. But like I like I told him, medicating is just covering up what is burned deep within. I need therapy. I need to speak to a professional. I carry so much of my past with me. I need to get that weight off my chest. I need to bury it once and for all. I have tried for years to do it by myself, but I have been unsuccessful.
Maybe, just maybe, one day my life will be whole again.
I’m so thankful that my girls are homeschooled. I was watching the news earlier about how schools are cutting the budgets and the kids are suffering because of it. There are some schools that cut buses. There are some schools that do not have enough text books to go around. There are some colleges that wanted the students to use Kindles and get their books from Amazon books.
I understand that this country is in the red. But why should the kids have to suffer? Why does their education have to be at a bare mininium? Here in Alabama, most schools lack the funding for adequate text books for all the students. Some parents have taken it upon themselves to purchase the books their child needs.
I just don’t get it. These kids are our futures and yet they are having to suffer. As parents is it really right to sit back and let the system let down our kids? Thankfully I do not have that to worry with. But regardless if my girls’ are in public school or homeschooled, there are millions of other kids out there who are suffering at the hands of the leaders of our nation.
You know what makes me sick ( wow now I am quoting Paul Harvey)? Seeing advertisements on the TV for Disney vacations. It never fails, Shorty sees it and begs to go. I mean this goes on for about an hour after said commercial.
But I will hand it to advertisement agencies, they are so smart to target young kids. Not only do they do it with vacations, they do it with everything. A new toy that comes across the screen is meant to intice kids. Kids then go to their parents and bug them for that item. Some parents give in. Some parents, (like me) ignore the begging.
I understand that targeting kids, makes them money. But what if I don’t have that money to spend? I am left hearing my 9 year old daughter whine about how bad she wants so and so and how unfair it is that everyone else has one. Then I have to explain how unfair life is. Some times it just sucks to be a parent.
So I thought I had a brilliant idea. You see, both of my girls are taking English Literature this year. I thought it would be great for them to read some of the classics, so we started off with To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. I remember reading it in high school and it is one of my favorites.
I looked for the ebook online. I wanted to put it on our ipods so we could read it no matter where we were. That really wasn’t such a great idea. I couldn’t find To Kill a Mockingbird, but decided to test it with a freebie online. I quickly discovered that the print was so small that it gave me a headache trying to read it.
I would love to be able to read the books electronically, but I can’t afford an E-reader. But take it from me, unless you have perfect vision, don’t even attempt to put an e-book on an I-pod unless you have a bottle of asprin to go with it.
I am still struggling with my anxiety disorder. It really sucks. At times I feel myself sinking deeper into the abyss. I keep calling the mental health office to see if they have an opening on the slider fee. Each week, I get the same response. No openings.
I can see a therapist now if I want to fork out $130 the first visit and $90 an hour after that. Hell I can’t even afford life insurance or any type of insurance. The medicaid pepole said they could only help if I was a threat to myself or my family, which I am not. So I’m screwed.
I did manage to take Jellybean to the Dr the other day. At first I was very uncomfortable. I was sweating and panicking. I think the only thing that saved me was that I double my anxiety meds before we went.
My hubby has brought up on several occasions how he wants things back like they were before. I do too. I mean I understand where he is coming from. We used to take the girls everywhere. We would go to the mall just to walk around. Now I am lucky if I can make it in there 5 minutes before I start hyperventilating and have to leave. I feel like I’m letting my family down. My girls are always saying they want to go do something, yet I can’t bring myself to do it.
The biggest issue I’m facing now is the money. If I had the money I would definitely see a therapist. I have so much that I need to get out. I need to get on with my life. I want to get on with my life. I’m stuck right now. I just want to return to myself.
I love hubby to death. He is a Jack of almost all trades. Noticed I said almost. The one area he lacks skills in is home improvement. He couldn’t build a bird house if he tried. He once built us a porch and when we stepped out on it, it fell to the ground.
There’s a few projects around the house that really needs to be done. For example, we need to gut the small bathroom and replace the floor. Have we done it yet, nope. He needs to finish installing the Kwikset door knobs that we have had for about 5 years. Three of the rooms in this house does not have a door knob. The living room desperately needs to be repainted.
Even with all the repairs that needs to be done, it’s really hard to ask someone who does not possess the skills to do the job. It’s like hiring a plumber to work on the electricity. Just doesn’t work that way. You know what I mean? I’m pretty sure I could do it myself. But having him hover over me telling me I’m doing wrong just doesn’t sit well with me.
I wonder if I can trade him in for a weekend. Maybe get a tall, dark and handsome repairman that is great with his hands. What? I need my floors fixed 
Summer is winding down. What have we done? Nothing. Where have we gone? No where. What have we seen? The same four walls. Day in. Day out. I often dream of a family vacation. I mean a REAL vacation.
Sure my kids have never seen the ocean. We do take them to the river. I mean we do have a “sandy” beach there. However, you do have to pay attention to the nuclear plant across the way, but you do learn to ignore the green carpet fish.
Our little “beach” has it’s advantages. It’s never crowded. There’s all kinds of aquatic species (some genetically modified by the nuclear plant) to see. It’s not far from home. In it’s own little way it’s kinda Hawaii-ish, just redneck style. We also have evacuation routes in case the nuclear plant blows up.
With the advantages comes the disadvantages. Our “beach” is nothing like the beaches of the Outer Banks. We do not have waves. Well we do in a way, they are generated by the dilapidated, redneck jet skis. But nothing to surf to. We do not have lobsters or crabs in our waters. No siree, we have cotton mouth snakes, funky fish and a gator or two that has gotten lost.
So I guess my family will never have a real vacation. We may never get to walk the white sandy beaches that snuggle the ocean. The only shells we will collects is those shed from the mussels deep in the mighty river bed. We will continue to watch the sun set over the nuclear plant, hoping that is the sun glowing off in the distance. Yep, that’s the closest thing to a vacation we will ever see.
Look Whose Talkin’