She was surrounded by four walls that were not her own. She stared blankly at a bed that had many hidden stories of seduction and passion. Her life had always been sheltered and she knew what she wanted and what her heart wanted. She wanted him to take her in and love her and become one.
As they closed in, she looked deep into his eyes. They were the color of hot chocolate. His hands masculine, yet gentle. He loved her, but how much. Would he cradle her in his arm after they made love? Would he whisper his desire for her in her ear as the drifted off to sleep? Could he make her believe that everything would be alright?
Even in that dark and damp motel room, life seemed so much brighter. He had her. She had him. Together they made each other feel complete. He was as gentle as a lamb with her. He stroked her hair and kissed her forehead. He looked in her hazel eyes as he promised forever.
She felt liked she was loved. As they laid there just holding each other and embracing the moment, he said “I love you” and life stood still for her. At that moment all her cares of not having a roof over her head just disappeared. All her memories of her past left her for that brief moment. She knew she would be ok.
They fell asleep that night holding hands. They woke up the next morning still holding hands. And many years later, just the touch and the feel of his hands still bring on a sense of belonging.
I love getting awards, but even better I love giving them out. Over several days I have been given a few awards and a few tags and thought I would hand them out to a few of my closest friends. These people are special to me and mean a lot. Thanks Holly, Leigh and Melissa for your thoughtfulness and making my day brighter. Lots of Love Ladies!! And thank you!!
The Forever Friendship Award
Holly at Just Simply Holly
Angry at Angry Buttons
Wander at Wander’s World
Jillian at Loquaciously Verbose
Jess at Just a touch of Sweetness
Melissa at Melissa’s Idea Garden
Anne at LifePundit
Even if you are not on this list, if you stop by and leave me a legit comment, I thank you. And if you would like, just grab yourself an award and use it. Thanks everyone for being the best support team and friends that a crazy gal could ask for … Lots of Love to each and every one of you!!
Ugh, have you ever had one of those days where you have something to say but just can’t put it into words? Today has been on of those days. I have tried several times today to write something and I end up deleting it. I normally always have something to say and can get it out, but today it’s just stuck between my brain and my fingers.
Throughout my adulthood, I have had a mother who has been addicted to something whether it’s alcohol or pills. In the early years, she drank for fun and to forget what was happening in the world around her. Now she pops pills to control her pain or so she says.
I see my younger sister following in her footsteps. She has a closet addiction to pain meds and she thinks no one knows about it. She is constantly finding a way to see a Dr about some kind of pain.
Last night she told me that she was diagnosed with the same kind of back problems that my mother has. I was telling her that I am still having problems with my back and she insists that I need to go to a Dr to be put on some kind of medicine to control the pain. Today I talk to my mother who gives me the exact same speech.
I am not them. I am not dependent on medicine to make me feel better. I do not want to turn out like my mother nor my sister. Sure the pain is unbearable at times, but I do not want to have to pill up like they do. My mother alone takes at least 7-10 pills a day just to be able to get through the day. She doesn’t get high from them, she can’t.
I see my mother letting go of the person she used to be a little more each day. I see her giving up on the things that she wants out of life just because she’d rather take a pill than change the way she feels. I see her not caring anymore and I do not want to be that person.
I think that is why I have put off going to the Dr with my back and tail bone. I’d rather ache than know. I’d rather get through the day without popping a pill because I want to remain true to myself. Although I love my mother to death, I do not want to be her shadow and turn out like she has. And as long as I continue to see her in her downward spiral, I don’t think I can go to the Dr.
My girls are head over heels for Hannah Montana. They have watched every single episode. They have downloaded every single song. And now they want to go see her big movie. As much as their Daddy and I dislike it, we have thought about taking them to see it. I checked at the ticket prices online a few minutes ago and almost fell out. If you preorder the tickets it’s $15.00 a piece. If you wait until showtime it’s $18.00 a piece. If I were a more financially stable person I wouldn’t complain about the prices. But we are on a very limited budget. What I make online is all the income we have coming in. So in short, that makes for extra activities few and far in between.
I would give anything to see the smiles on their faces and their eyes light up over their idol, but I simply can not afford luxury tickets that in my opinion for that price should come with drinks and popcorn. Instead I’m going to have to tell them no. And anyone that is a parent knows that’s the hardest thing to do is to tell a child no when it’s something they are really passionate about.
She just doesn’t get it
I haven’t spoken to my sister in a while. I think she’s kinda pissed at me. But in reality, I do not think she understands my reasonings for not attending her (I don’t want to say the word, but it rhymes with sledding) . I do not want to have to go and face certain members of my family. I do not want an argument to ensue on her big day. I do not want things to be awkward and get ugly. However she doesn’t see it that way.
She thinks everyone will behave and be on their best behavior. I really don’t think they will. I just can’t get her to understand my point of not going.
I feel as though our already strained relationship has went further down the tubes. I feel as though I’m not good enough to be included in their lives unless the benefit from it. I feel as though I am just a person to talk to when there’s no one else to converse with.
They do not call me just to see what’s up. They have an agenda when they call and deep down that hurts, but I have yet to fully confront them on how I feel about it. They know a little, but not all of it.
They try to put me in the middle of situations. They will ask me how the family is doing.. I tell them fine or to call and ask themselves. I do not put them in the middle and ask how the other side is doing, because quite frankly, I could care less and if I did, I wouldn’t jeopardize their sanity by putting them in the middle and quizzing them.
I would love to have them as my best friends, but I have finally realized that it’s virtually impossible because we are divided between our parents.
Baby in da house
Tomorrow hubby and I will be playing parents to a baby. OMG. Do you know how long it’s been since we have had a baby in this house. Well it’s not forever long, but long enough. We are watching our Great Nephew tomorrow while everyone attends the visitation and funeral for my sister in laws MIL.
This is gonna be fun. We can pretend we have a son for a day. Although I’m a little worried. I have never in my life tended to a boy. I have never changed a little boys diaper. I know they like to pee in your face. I may let hubby take care of that aspect of it.
It’s strange because I remember when my grandfather died, I was left with my great aunt whom I barely know. I vividly recall Momma and Daddy walking me to the door and my aunt taking me to her daughters room to look for something to play with. When I realized they split, I bawled my eyes out. Then after a few minutes I forgot all about them. Luckily for us the baby is just that a baby. He’s 8 months old and I’m sure we can keep him occupied for a few hours. He’s head over heels for hubby so hopefully this will go well for us.
I gotta baby proof today. I gotta remember to keep my face out of line from direct fire. Wish me luck.
Currently we are sitting around the campfire. Well not really. We are however without power and the only light in the house is the propane lantern. How romantic huh? I’m using the laptop and the battery juice won’t last long. If I thought the power would come back on soon I would take a nap. The weather man stated that there’s something like 54,000 people across Mississippi and Arkansas without power. I guess you can not make that 54,001.
Look Whose Talkin’