If you are reading this, I’m on vacation. That’s something I have never done in my adult life is take a vacation. Actually it’s not a vacation per say, but it is time that I desperately need right now. I need to clear my head, heart and soul of things that are weighing my heart down right now. Today, I plan on hopefully sleeping late if Roxie permits me to sleep at all. See you all in a week.
Hesitation almost held me back. But I decided to give it a try. After all family gathering can’t be that bad right? All went well today. Well until I got a call that accused my hubby of more false abuse claims. There’s a story of how I have “suspicious” bruises all over my body. Funny, because the person spreading these vicious lies hasn’t seen me in over two months.
How can you forgive someone for blatantly lying on your partner and best friend? How can you get past the fact that someone would be so low to tell the rest of the family crazy shit like this? I don’t know if I can. I tried today to put the first batch of lies behind me. I tried to forgive and forget after I confronted. But when you hear that it’s still continuing how can you let it go?
I have even thought of leaving my best friend and my hubby. I know it sounds crazy but it’s my family that is hurting him. I don’t want to see him hurt. I don’t want to see him in pain of something he’s never done or even thought of doing. I love him too damn much to see my fucked up family hurt him for what ever their reasons are. I just don’t know anymore.
I can’t take any more of this. I have tried my damnedest to be the best person I can be. I have tried to get my life together and I can’t because of everyone else tearing it apart.
As of midnight I start my week vacation. Hopefully I will post some tonight to auto post through out the week. I think I need to take this week and weed out some thoughts running through my head. I’m so confused, lost and just emotionally drained. I will get on just to check my email and approve comments, but I will not be posting under any circumstances this week. I will miss all of you and I hope you do not forget about me. It’s only for 7 days. But I need this right now more than ever. My love to all of you. See you in a week.
Eating me alive
Tiki torches have became my new best friends. Since the great flood of May the skeeters are terrible. You can’t go outside without the little boogers attacking you full force. We have emptied all the standing water and all the possible feeding grounds for them, but they still are out in full force. The county comes by and sprays some Outdoor pest control stuff in the ditches, but I think it got washed away during the major flooding. I wonder if you can get them to come back and spray again? I really hate to be ate up while trying to enjoy the sweet summer nights
Some times things just happen. There’s no rhyme nor reasons for it. Yesterday when the girls went to walk with my MIL, there was a little puppy spotted under the fence beside her house. The road on the other side is a busy little country road. Hubby seen something black out of the corner of his eye. This is what was found:
We looked around for her mother and didn’t see any sign. My MIL told me that earlier in the day a car had stopped on the road and she heard a car door close. We are guessing someone just dropped her off. At first we thought she may be a Rottwieler due to the markings on her face. But I’m really not sure. Her head is tiny. Hubby thinks she’s a Fiest Mix.
We have decided to keep her being as though she was just abandoned. We named her Roxie.. or Foxy Roxie. LOL. Last night was a trying night with her. I put her in the crate at about 1:30 and she decided she didn’t like it and yelped all night. I camped out on the couch to keep her company. About 5 AM I let her out of the crate and put her on the couch with me. We stayed up for a little bit playing. She finally went to sleep, but had to have her paw touching my hair. I reckon my vacation will be spent house training a puppy. LOL
You know, sometimes I think people read too much into things. I was reading a forum and they were discussing a Heinz commercial that is being pulled from the airwaves because of the content. The controversy is raised because at the end of the commercial two men share a kiss. Now I’m not the brightest bulb on the planet, but after I watched I came to my own conclusion that the butcher was the mother.
Watch for yourself and tell me what you think?
Now in my eyes, I see a family and the mother is making butcher style sandwiches. Therefore, the butcher is actually the mother. Does that make sense? I see nothing homosexual about the ad. Maybe I am naive and am totally reading the whole story line wrong. But I don’t think I am.
Heinz pulled it because of over 200 complaints. The people complaining claim that the message is sending out a homosexual message. I can see in a way where they would think that, but if you watch the commercial, the message to me is as clear as the nose on my face. Or else I’m reading it wrong. What’s your thoughts on it?
Life goes on
Good Lord, I’m about 2 seconds away from being crazy around here. The girls have fought non stop for 2 days now. If it’s not over one thing it’s another. To show you how crazy I am, I have started to grow boob hair. Yep, I had three of those little puppies growing so beautifully upon my left boob.
Monday starts my vacation. What am I getting myself into? I do want us to do a few things and we do have a couple of plans. Little day trips instead of overnight trips. I’d rather be shopping around for cruise deals but instead I’m just planning lake deals.
We are supposed to go out to my Mother’s house sometime next week. I just got off the phone with her and she’s a little ill at me. Why you ask? Well it’s because I won’t let the girls stay the night out there. There’s a bunch of reasons behind my decision and I just don’t think she will accept it. Oh well. Life goes on.
There’s a lot of things I have learned over the years. But the most important lesson I have learned is I can get through anything. No matter how hard the obstacle is, I just have to jump a little higher to clear the hurdles. I have learned that life isn’t fair but why should it be? I have learned that things don’t always go my way, but that’s ok. I won’t die because of it. I have learned that not everyone is gonna like me.. and that’s fine. I don’t like everyone in the world.
I have learned that there’s time to be alone and times to embrace people. I have always tried to shun the outside world in fear of criticism. But criticism can be constructive and useful at times. I have learned how much weight my shoulders can hold until they reach a breaking point. I’m not a super hero, but I can withstand a lot.
I have learned to love and to be loved. Not only by my family, but by complete strangers that I have formed bonds with. Some of these people I couldn’t imagine them not in my life. I have learned that it’s ok to be ok. Or it’s ok to not be ok. I’m still the same person. I’m still dealing with the cards that have been dealt to me over the years. But I am still here. Every day I’m learning something new.
So I’m gearing up for my vacation next week. Not much of a vacation as of right now though. First off, we can’t find any campgrounds with the 4th of July being next week. Secondly our stimulus check is due sometime next week and because of the local thugs, we sure as hell don’t want to leave a check in the mail while we are gone. And no, we don’t trust anyone to pick up the mail for us. LOL Sad long story.
I’m waiting for the UPS man to deliver my new (well new to me) window for my truck. I’m still riding around with the shattered glass taped together. No it’s not duct tape. I have to draw the line somewhere. It’s just clear packaging tape. But I found a great deal on the window on EBay. It was 1/2 of the price I was gonna have to pay to get it locally. Not bad.
Nothing exciting happening in my little world unless you count stalking the UPS man. I lead an awesome life don’t I?
Here lately I have been thinking about my maternal grandmother. I think a lot of the thoughts that have come back are due to me talking about her some to hubby. The other night we were discussing getting a hand gun for protection. I immediately thought of my grandmother and the night she had a gun pulled on a few officers in her bedroom.
I was living with her all alone. My mother had split. She was dying and even up until her death, she will filled with spite and that I don’t give a damn attitude. That’s what made her unique. Anyways, her and her ex hubby had traded cars. He had called a couple of days later and said his disability check was in the glove box.
My grandmother had me run out and get his check out of the box. Then she told him finders keepers and he wasn’t getting his check back. From there, he called the law out there. Now this was after the fact that my grandmother had her loaded pistol in her lap and dared her ex to come get that check. Yes she probably would have shot him.
The cops show up and my elderly dying grandmother is waving her pistol at the cops. Every time she waved her gun, they would sway with the direction of the gun. It was kinda funny. They asked if they could search the house, they weren’t looking for bar faucets or her fine china, they were looking for his check. But little did they know, it was stuffed down her shirt in her bra.
The cops finally convinced her to hand over the check. But she surely didn’t want to. It’s a fond memory I have of my grandmother. Strange yes, but that’s just how she rolled. She was a spit fire kinda gal.
Look Whose Talkin’