After 15 years of marriage and three kids later, things that my family does really doesn’t surprise me any more. Tonight for dinner, we decided to try Deer steaks. I served them with gravy and biscuits and at the time, they smelled and tasted pretty darn good. Now a few hours later, the smell that my hubby is excreting, doesn’t smell so damn hot.
After dinner, we decided to get out of the house and go walk around the mall. I should have known on the way there not to even take my hubby and his farting ass into public. I should not have enforced my hubby’s biohazardous flatulence to the general public. I really thought that he could contain the hazardous gases to himself. Boy was I ever wrong.
We just entered Sears and Wild Child and I were several paces behind hubby, he lets a little one slip and I could hear him snicker ahead of us. I knew something was up as we passed an elderly couple and she looked at her hubby with that look as if he done it. I already knew who the culprit was. We get around the the outdoors stuff and he kept it in. Actually I think it was brewing a storm inside his intestines because as soon as we rounded the corner to the washers and dryers, I hear what sounds like grenades going off in a distance. I did not follow him up the isle instead I ducked and covered. I hear him laughing his stinky ass off. Jelly Bean and I attempted to walk up the next isle and I see the workers laughing hysterically at the farting mass of a man who know is in full blown giggles. The younger two hauled ass in embarrassment from their father. Hell, I wanted to climb into one of those large capacity dryers like it was an underground bunker. I don’t think the atomic bomb had anything on him tonight.
I did not associate myself with him. I pretended like I didn’t know who he was. Even though I’m pretty sure it was all caught on their security cameras. It wasn’t until 15 minutes later and the laughter dies do I meet up with him to get the hell out of there. So we exit Sears and head out into the general mall area. It seemed as though ever step he took he released a slider. He’s a man, I get that and I know that passing gas is normal. But for the love when it gags a person and brings tears to their eyes, something is seriously messed up.
The ride home was a challenge. We were discussing the events of the mall with great laughter then all of a sudden out of no where, we hear the blurp blurp blurp sound again. I start gagging and trying to roll my window down. I’m weaving like a drunk. We pull into the store and everyone in the truck has tears flowing from their eyes. I’m not sure if it was from the laughter or the tear gas, but it was a sight.
After we leave the store, we head home and yet again, another one. He had his drink up to his lips and took a big gulp and I said something about can’t find the window controls to roll the window down due to the tears and he got choked on his drink. I asked him if the stench from his own ass finally reached his nostrils.
Never again will he eat deer meat again. And if he consumes any of it, he sure as hell won’t be riding in a confined space with me again. I’m still dreading getting under the covers with him. Anyone have a gas mask they want to loan me for the night?
Stuck in a rut. It seems as though this past week, I have been drowning in a sea of nothingness. I have so many things I want to write about, but when it comes to actually sitting down and forcing my thoughts out, they get stuck. I think I’m stuck in a winterized fog. I hate the winter months and it’s driving me insane having to stay inside all the time. I want to be outside gardening, mowing the grass, just sitting under a shade tree somewhere. I’m hoping the weather cooperates with me Sunday, I’m thinking of hitting a hiking trail somewhere.
I also believe I’m coming down sick. Today I have had a tremendous difficulty in breathing. It feels like an elephant is resting upon my chest. If I get too hot, it intensifies. And I have been sleeping a lot here lately. At first I thought it was depression due to the weather and all, but now I think it’s just a terrible cold or bronchitis trying to sneak up on me. Don’t ya hate that?
Today Shorty had a program at school and I totally skipped out on it. First off, she informed me last night not to come if I did not intend on bringing her home. She threatened to cry. Secondly, I just didn’t want to go and make my grand appearance. LOL. Seriously, I just didn’t want to go. I love my daughter with all my heart, but today wasn’t a day I wanted to socialize with people. Is that bad of me?
The other two kids have been major PITA’s this week. I’m not sure what exactly their problems are, but they have been nothing but attitude. Jelly Bean has pretty much locked herself in her bedroom. She only comes out to eat, pee and if we are lucky, we get an occasional conversation with her. I guess it’s typical of a 14 year old girl. Wild Child, has been full of attitude this week. Most of that has been because I won’t give in to her every demand, thus ensues a few rounds. Oh the joys of parenting teens. NOT!!
Well I think I’m going to do one of three things, 1. go back to bed 2. watch a movie or 3. surf the net. Pretty sure number one will win this round.
Socks. Everyone wears them. Most of the time, it’s the same old boring plain white socks that adorn most folks footsies. Well I prefer to be slightly different and wear what most would consider to be far from the normal. I was recently sent a pair of socks from SockGrams. When I opened my package, I just absolutely died laughing because the socks they sent me, were so freaking cute. They were socks with pigs on them. Just look how cute they are. (Sorry those are not my feet, my kids stole my camera batteries).
So I try them on. The comfort level was amazing. They aren’t too thick, so my feet won’t get hot. They aren’t too thin where my toes get cold. They are just right and they are so comfortable.
I wore them to the Dermatologist office yesterday. This lady and her daughter kept staring at my feet. She inquired about my socks and told me how cute they were and asked me where I got them. Of course, I told her all about SockGrams and how awesome their selections were. And told her how they were for everyone, men, women and kids. She said she was going to check it out. Awesome!!
SockGrams are so versatile. You can use them for special occasions, like Valentines, birthday, holidays, every day. They have an array of socks for everyone. SockGrams are a very unique way to send a personalized greeting to anyone. They would make a really fun and creative way to send invitations to weddings, parties and so much more. The possibilities are really endless.
Get in it to win it!!
You can win your very own set of cute and comfy socks from SockGrams.com. Entering is so easy. Go to their website and check out their socks. Come back here and tell me which is your favorite. The winner will win the socks they chose as their favorite. You can pick any style and for anyone (man,woman or child size).
The contest will end on January 31, 2009 at 9 PM CST. The winner will be chosen at random by Random.org. The winner will have three days to contact me with their mailing info. Contest is open to all US citizens.
You can earn extra entries by blogging the contest, stumbling, retweeting the contest, and subscribing to my feeds. Easy as that. Be sure to leave a comment for each entry. Good luck!!
This post is a part of Bloggy Giveaways Quarterly Blog Carnival. Please check them out for more awesome giveaways (as well as mine)
Hi.
Hi. How are you? Me, I’m pretty good believe it or not. The whole ordeal with Shorty’s new allergies was so overwhelming this weekend. During a trip to the grocery store, I broke down and cried. I just got so overcome with emotions of having to read every single label and making sure that it doesn’t contain beef or shellfish. It’s crazy and I broke down like a basketcase. After Wild Child’s removal of her stitches yesterday, I ran into Publix to look at their meat section. Believe it or not, the second trip was so much better. I didn’t break down crying. I felt pretty good about shopping. Even though the trips are a lot longer now, it’s worth it.
Hopefully today I am going to start up a new blog to keep track of Shorty’s allergies. I want to keep it totally separate from this blog. I will post the URL here once I get it up and going. Oh and I have another cool contest coming up sometime today. Think of This Little Piggy went to the Market. LOL
Have you ever tried to take a nap only to be disturbed by the light around you? I know I have an it’s so frustrating to me to try to sneak in a little siesta during the day and have to find something to cover my eyes with because of the sunlight. About a month ago I got to try the NapCap. Now I’m sure many of you are wondering what is a NapCap. Well, it is exactly what it says it is. To look at it, it’s a ball cap, but there is a hidden treasure folded inside of the bib. It’s a hidden treasure of an eye cover.
The NapCap is great for anyone and for any time. Got a shade tree mechanic, give him a NapCap to accompany him during his breaks. Got a commuter, give him/her a NapCap to catch some Zzzz’s during their trips. Relaxing on a beach, no problem. NapCap will keep that sun out of your eyes while you catch up on some rest and relaxation.
You can get the NapCap with the company logo on it, or you can order the cap blank in colors of Black, Navi or Khaki. And through the NapCap website, you can use one of the three coupon offers they have to save $2.00 on each hat you order. I have had my hat for about a month now, and I absolutely love it. It’s great for catching a nap any time of the day.
Get in it to win it:
NapCap has donated one NapCap to one of you lucky readers. Entering is easy. Just check out the NapCap website and come back and tell me where you would use your NapCap at. All entrants must have a valid US mailing address. Contest will end on January 31, 2009 at 9 PM CST.. Winner will be chosen at random by Random.org. Extra entries can be gotten by blogging the contest, subscribing to me via email, and stumbling this post. Post each entry separate please. Winner will have three days to respond to the winning email. Good Luck!!
This post is a part of Bloggy Giveaways Quarterly Blog Carnival. Please check them out for more awesome giveaways (as well as mine)
Oh my aching head. I feel hungover. I’m pretty sure I didn’t drink a drop last night, but it sure feels like I did. I went in to talk to the school, of course they were just as shocked as I was, but they are willing to work with us with Shorty’s new allergy. That’s a plus. I need to call the lunchroom and talk to them about accommodating her lunch some. I’m not even sure if it’s possible, but it’s worth a shot to keep her life as normal as possible. I showed everyone that photo of what she looks like when she’s reacting. They were speechless to say the least.
I have been searching the internet for her allergy and even forums for that specific allergy. Can’t find a single one, but I do plan on looking again today. Apparently allergies to beef are not that common. So even trying to research it has been quite a challenge. Or my brain was dead last night. The search will continue.
I am thinking of opening up a blog for people with beef allergies. Well not only beef, but with so little out there, maybe it will help. I plan on researching this until the cows come home.. LOL no pun intended. It’s so crazy to think that something she has had her entire life is now a great enemy of hers. We will adapt to her and her needs, but boy my trips to the grocery store will be a heck of a lot longer now. LOL
Can I please restart this day? It’s been just one of those days where I don’t know if I am coming or going. I finally did hear back from the dermatologist. Wild Child’s biopsy came back all clear. The only explanation for the spots is possible dead skin cells that will be monitored. And should grow back to normal on their own. That was the good news of the day.
Shorty’s appointment with the allergist has just left me speechless. Yes that’s hard to believe. They done the skin test on her and the results where so shocking. I suspected she was allergic to shellfish, so that one wasn’t a surprise. However her allergy to beef was a shocker. The Dr told us under no circumstances was she to eat any kind or anything with beef in it. We even have a paper to take to the school to make sure she doesn’t eat either one of them. Talk about a shock to the system. Do you know how much food contains beef?
I will write more later on this. Gotta feed this bunch. LOL, now that is a huge challenge.
Did you know that cooking pancakes will wake kids up? I was slaving feverishly over the all mighty pancakes when Shorty came around the fridge. She stopped, sniffed and with excitement and amazement in her voice asked if I was cooking pancakes. I think she was still in total disbelief that her mother was up at the ass crack of dawn with a skillet and a spatula. I have to say, I do believe that Aunt Jemima may know what she’s talking about. I actually took the time to read the box. It has tips to producing the best pancakes. It says do not completely stir the lumps out. And by golly, the girls said they were the best pancakes. I think most of that was said because they were still half asleep, but I’ll take the compliment anyways.
All three of the girls sat and gobbled their breakfast this morning. Shorty, gave plenty of hugs and kisses as payment for her breakfast. She told me I was the best mommy ever. Who knew you could get love for cooking? I wonder if I can convince my brain that getting up a little early a couple of mornings a week is actually a good thing.
Now on to a question. How often does a Dr call you with results? I just got off the phone with the dermatologist office and the receptionist said it was the Dr that had called. Of course, now I’m in full blown panic mode as I have never heard of a Dr placing the call themselves unless something is wrong. Yes I know I’m jumping the gun a little, but that’s one of my babies and I always tend to fear the worse until told otherwise. Has a Dr ever called you personally? If so, what did they say?
Look Whose Talkin’