Spring is beautiful
The sun is setting on the horizon. It’s been a beautiful spring day. The birds are chirping, everything is waking up from it’s long winter nap. The smell of new beginning is in the air. And I am smack dab in the midst of it all.
Today I broke out with the push mower and done a little tidying up around the pondarosa. There’s something about the first cut of the year. The smell of wild onions is in the air. I just absolutely love this time of year. Don’t you?
We also have had an abundance of wasps around. They meander around the house and for some reason, the family is terrified of them. When one occasionally wanders in, I help him back outside. Hubby is terrified of them about as bad as I am of spiders.
Now, I am just sitting here relaxing and fixing to watch a little tube with the family.
Shattered into a million pieces
Boy we had a night around here last night. Remeber last year when I bought my brand new stove. Well Shorty was goofing off at the dinner table last night and was leaning in her chair. The chair slipped out from under her. It slung her into the kitchen table, chin first and the chair went backwards toward the stove. This is the end result:
She managed to shatter the outer glass on the stove into oh around a million pieces. She started crying thinking she was in trouble and I explained to her that I understand it was an accident and I also stressed to her that this is the reason I tell her to keep the chair on the floor.
We looked up the replacement part and while it’s not as expensive as one of those new allergy bedding, it’s still more than I have right now. I don’t even know if I can still use it without the outer glass or not.
I tell ya, around here if it’s not one thing it’s another. Things breaking down, shattering and in case no one noticed money doesn’t grow on trees. So for now, I have a broken stove and a kid with a bruised up chin. This is the life I tell ya.. I want a refund.
The Blame Game
I sit here today in tears. I am so sick and tired of money issues being thrown up in my face. I’m tired of hubby throwing up him selling his laptop to get my medicine to me. I’m tired of him throwing up my smoking in my face. I’m tired of him blaming me for us not being able to go out and do stuff. Hell, I’m tired of it all.
You know I could be one of this high maintenace type of gal who wants all the expensive stuff. Nope, not me. I could be one of these women who demands high priced dinners and designer jeans. Nope not me. I could be one of these women who wants it all and wants it at the drop of a hat. But then again, that’s not me. Yet I’m still at blame.
So as of tomorrow, I will be quitting smoking. Maybe then my one little habit won’t be an issue or thrown up to my face. Funny thing is, we have a light bill for over $300. Yet our money issues is my fault. Imagine that.
Deja Vu
Some times I think my life is missing some kind of sustance. I just have no clue as to what it is.
I try to be a happy person for the most part I am not. Maybe I am just suffering from the winter blues or cabin fever. God only knows I’m ready to bust out of this place for a while.
Every day around here is like Deja Vu. Same thing just a different day. Oh that reminds me I need to call my MIL and ask for a rake. I think we may go clean off the graves of my family. Besides, it’s long over due for a good cleaning. Last time I was there, the place was a mess.
Great, now the kids are whining about going to the cemetary. I may just leave them home and go with hubby. Last thing I want to put up with is a whiny ass teen who thinks she has better plans.
Part of Life
Anxiety. It is a beast that I have battled my entire life. Back in high school, I had a huge issue with public speaking anxiety. I remember one year I had an english teacher who was big on giving oral reports. I always choked up when speaking in front of my peers and she would make fun of me.
Now I have General Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD). They are both very unpleasant to deal with. Sometimes they just happen out of the blue. And other times they happen when I encounter a trigger. Strangers, places that are crowded, people touching me and various other things set it off. I tend to avoid my triggers, but sometimes, it just happens.
I’m currently on medication to help me control my anxiety attacks. It helps some, but there are still some situations that I can not deal with. I still can’t walk into Walmart. I can not go to the mall to walk around with the girls. It’s very frustrating. But it’s a part of me and who I am. I wished it wasn’t me, but that is just a part of life I guess.
Happy Birthday
The day before yesterday was my grandmother’s birthday. Life without her isn’t the same. She went way before her time. I have so many fond memories of her. I wished my girls could have gotten to know her. I believe she would have loved them.
I usually try to go to her grave on or around her birthday. I always sit in front of her headstone and talk to her. It never fails, I always end up leaving crying. She died back in the 80’s, but no amount of time has made it any better.
I have this thing, that I always ask to give me a sign that she’s with me when I’m there. Okay here is the strange part. The wind always starts blowing the second we walk in, but stops when we leave.
I believe she is with me. I still miss her terribly (I’m even tearing up, just writing this). She was an amazing woman.
I haven’t made it to the cemetary yet. The weather has kept me from going. But I will get down there soon. I need to wish her a happy birthday.
We got news
What a day today has turned out to be. It all started this morning with me waking up from a dream. In my opinion it was a nightmare. Jellybean was driving somewhere with Wild Child with her. They were supposed to go to the store and back. They were gone for hours. We called the police and everything. Somehow or another, we caught wind they were in another town 45 minutes away seeing some boy in the hospital.
After I woke up, I stumbled around the house until everyone else woke up. Hubby called the Dr’s office to inquire once again about his test results. And of course as all the times before, they had nothing. So he decided to call the hospital and us just go get the results ourselves. After schoolwork was done, we headed to town. Once we got there he ran in and we hoped it would be a fast trip. Nope. Instead it took 45 minutes and he came out mad as an old wet hen. They could not find the results anywhere and thought they may be in the Mammography department.
So we get home and the phone rings. Ironically it’s the Dr’s office calling. They told him that there was nothing abnormal about the test. But for some reason he is still uneasy about the Dr’s call and is questioning if what they said was right or not.
As for me, my right arm has been giving me a fit all day long. From my shoulder down hurts and if I raise my arm above my head it shoots a pain down the muscle on the inside of my arm. I swear I’m falling apart at the seams. Well that’s it for now. I think I’m going to take 2 Benedryll and call it a night. Or try to.
Same Ol’ Same Ol’
Woke up to snow this morning. Thankfully it was too warm for it to stick to anything. Tomorrow it’s supposed to be back up into the 60’s and then in the 70’s on Wednesday. Woo hoo I can not wait.
Things between hubby and I appear to be better. Now if I ask for help, he pitches in. That’s all I asked for. He’s been helping Shorty with her school work. He’s been helping more around the house. And doesn’t bitch when I want to take a nap. So far so good. Let’s just hope he doesn’t backtrack.
Still no news from the Dr on the ultrasound. To say I’m frustrated is beyond an understatement. The Dr’s office told him Friday that no news is good news, yet they still don’t have the results due to the fact their fax machine is broke.
Other than that it’s pretty much the same ol’, same ol’ around Casa de Sassy.
College Classes from the Couch
Education. It’s one of those things that most of us take for granted when we are young. I for one am among the millions of people out there who did not further their education. Now that I am older, I would love the opportunity to go back and live out a dream. Not only that, but to be a role model to my three girls.
Giving the state of the economy these days, getting a college degree is expensive. Many adults have full time jobs, families and other obstacles that get in their ways. They have bills to pay, mortages to pay and all the other expenses life throws at them. Going to college is nothing more but a distant dream to so many.
Now there is a solution to thoses looking to either finish their college education or those like me, who never even went. At Western Governors University obtaining an online degree is really as easy as one, two, three.
Western Governors University was founded by 19 Governors to help working adults obtain their college degree by taking courses online in their spare time. With as little as 20 hours a week, a person can further their education at their own time. Western Governors University is one of the rising online universities being praised by Time Magazine and also featured on NBC Nightly News.
My husband and I both looked through the site. I must say that I was very impressed with the fact that I could stay in the comfort of my own home and earn a degree. Plus with the classes running under $3,000 a term, I would be crazy not to attempt it. I would be an example to my children and living out my dream to get a college education.
Look Whose Talkin’