I turned 34 on Saturday. Big whoop. I was mostly in a drug induced stupor thanks to the Dr. Life passed me by that day. And I’m okay with it. There has been a few times in my life where I never thought I would make it to the age of 34. That’s what happens to traumatized people.
I have a few reviews that are long over due. I just haven’t been well. My mind, body and soul is literally exhausted. I really want to be well again. My Dr even suggested therapy. But there’s no one brave enough in the area to tackle my problems. Can’t say that I blame them. No seriously, they are booked up. Apparently there’s a lot of folks in need of a friend that charges insane amounts of money just to nod their heads.
Believe it or not, I want therapy. I want help to get beyond my past. I want to learn to live for myself. I want to learn to laugh again (with or without meds, though the meds make me funnier). LOL.
After hearing all my issues, I told the Dr on Thursday that I just wanted to be better and be myself again. She said point blank that she wasn’t a miracle worker. I have to agree with her. It’s going to take one hell of a team to fix all the cracks I carry with me.
The Dr changed my meds.. again. This time it’s a cocktail of 6 meds. Plus some time (when I get up off my ass and do it) I have to go to the hospital to have blood drawn so they can test it for everything under the sun. Then I go over to X-ray for a photo op of my lower back and knees. That should be fun. I may have to take a double dose of ativan. LOL.
Well, I reckon that’s all for now folks. I’m still around, just mostly in the bed these days. I will try to write more when I am able.
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